What to Expect: A Parent Guide to Play Therapy
By: Jennifer Cobb, MA, LCMHC, RPTtm
Play therapy is designed for the child and the therapist to interact, usually without parents present. My sessions are typically held weekly and billed for 45 minutes (lasting for 38 minutes to allow time for resetting materials between sessions). Some common concerns that can be addressed through play therapy include big feelings such as anxiety and anger, as well as behaviors such as defiance and arguing, low self-esteem or negative self-talk, and negative peer or sibling interactions. Beginning as soon as the third month of weekly sessions, expected outcomes include increased emotional regulation, frustration tolerance, and good coping skills.
In the play room, there are toys specially chosen to allow the child to express thoughts and feelings in ways that are meaningful to them. The job of the child-centered play therapist is to create a warm and accepting environment that encourages the child to feel comfortable and safe. The child will have many choices in how they spend their session. Most children begin with at least a bit of hesitation, but after a few initial sessions they soon find play therapy to be an enjoyable experience. It is specially designed for the needs of young children.
Over the course of several sessions, some of the ways I respond may challenge your child’s underlying beliefs. Play therapy likely will not feel the same as unstructured free play. As a play therapist, I am trained to help so that the child can begin to evaluate the outcomes of their own choices. In making progress, they will grow more confident in their sense of self-worth and responsibility for their own actions. Rigid thinking will become more flexible, and big feelings will become more tolerable. Although most of the learning in play therapy is experiential and non-verbal, you can expect that the child’s behaviors of concern in other settings will improve. Cognitive (or CBT) strategies are integrated into therapy sessions based on the needs of the child.
Parents are essential to the play therapy process. Throughout the play therapy process, I stay in touch with parents to help them in managing difficult behaviors. For each play therapy session, I ask parents to share significant events and observations in writing, tracking progress over time. The child’s behaviors outside of sessions are probably more important than any particular behavior I might see during our sessions. I may never directly witness the behaviors that are most concerning to you, but significant progress is still expected.
Another important aspect of the play therapy process for you to anticipate will be scheduling regular parent-only sessions. After four play therapy sessions, I plan for a parent-only session to discuss concerns, track progress, answer questions, and make adjustments as needed.
I also offer parent coaching as a separate service. I teach you the same skills I use in play therapy. There is significant homework between sessions, but there is also evidence that this provides the same or even better outcomes than play therapy alone. I have about 8 sessions worth of material to teach. Between sessions, you will be expected to hold a structured special play time once a week for 30 minutes, using the tools and skills you learn from me.
Those expected outcomes of increased emotional regulation, tolerance for frustration, and good coping skills can be accomplished by either play therapy or parent coaching. Additionally, parent coaching increases your positive interactions with your child and enhances your confidence in meeting emotional needs and limiting inappropriate behaviors. It helps parents feel more in control. Even without parent coaching, play therapy on its own is an effective treatment with good outcomes for challenging behaviors.
Confidentiality is an important part of the play therapy process. Everything shared during our sessions is confidential, with exceptions related to safety. If that becomes a concern, we can talk more about it. I encourage parents to think of their child’s sessions as they would a diary or journal: the child gets to decide what to share and when to share it. Some kids come out of their session and have a lot to share. Some have very little to say, or they may say “we just played.” I work to help them feel like their time with me is their space where they are comfortable to express themselves in lots of different ways. This is essential to the therapy process and it takes time and consistency for kids to feel connected and free. If I have any concerns about what they share, I will communicate directly with parents. I want to hear from you throughout your child’s play therapy process and I am open to questions, concerns, and other feedback you have to share.
I look forward to working with your family to focus on the strengths and build from there. Reach out and get scheduled for a free 10-minute consultation call.
