Child & Family Development Child & Family Development

February 28, 2017

The Anger Iceberg and counseling



The Child and Family Development psychology team includes 8 providers who help children, teens and young adults cope with the stressors of life. 

A widely used tool from the Gottman Institute is called the Anger Iceberg. 

The assertion is that what people see from the surface can be misleading and other information may be hidden. Their website shares:

This is how anger works. Often when we are angry, there are other emotions hidden under the surface. It’s usually easy to see a person’s anger but difficult to see the underlying feelings. Anger is referred to as a “secondary emotion” because we tend to use anger to cover up other vulnerable feelings. The “primary emotion” may be embarrassed, lonely, tired, or worried. Learning to recognize when anger isn’t really what we’re feeling is important for identifying and coping with our emotions. This is true for both children and adults.

Download a PDF version of the Anger Iceberg here.